Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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