Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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