Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
