does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
