Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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