i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
