Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
