if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
