belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
