So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
