Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
