I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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