The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
