Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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