considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
