You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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