well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
