I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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