Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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