You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
