it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
