well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
