I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he puts the penis in happiness.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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