I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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