Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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