It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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