How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
