I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
