My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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