I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
