Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Randomize
