Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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