I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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