it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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