The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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