I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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