apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
