He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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