I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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