yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
