Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
