Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
