Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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