I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
