i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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