If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
