Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
