areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
