they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
