She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
