So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
