i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
