In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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