Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she pinky promised me she was 18
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
