Kiss
Puke
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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